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Today on the air, I hypothesized that the Crayola the company could start a business by introducing a line of Classic Rock pencils. This was requested after playing “Rock and Roll” from Led Zeppelin [IV] and reminiscent of the gray color theme of this iconic album cover. It was the shadow of the crumbling wall on which hung the famous picture of this old guy with the bundle of sticks. It’s a color famous enough to invoke a massive collective memory, and isn’t that what a company would want to launch an exciting new product line to a clientele that has grown up and adopted rock and roll as its lifelong playlist?
So with that in mind, here is a list of colors Crayola should consider!
1.) “GRAY ZEPPELIN LED” – In this case, it is the primary color, since Led Zeppelin is the group everyone can agree on (and if you know someone who doesn’t like Page and Co., beware of that individual). The cover of Led Zeppelin [IV] with its cement-colored pallor would be the shade to color in if you were to create a cloudy day or even an airship… or… er, a flying Zeppelin for your art project.
2.) “BROWN WOODSTOCK” – This pencil color is reminiscent of the mud fields of the famous 1969 festival, not the infamous LSD that was circulating. After massive torrential rains hit the Bethel, NY site, Max Yasgur’s farm was reduced to acres of thick, oozing mud that covered blankets, sleeping bags, peace flags and most. of the hippies who were there. The taste of upstate dirt even permeated the food eaten there. So, Woodstock Brown really is all about the mud, and it was beefed up to a whole new generation when Green day and their audience engaged in this massive mud contest at Woodstock ’94.
3.) “BACK IN BLACK” – There are a lot of songs using shade of black as a pattern, as well as band and album names, so picking the right one to identify our new classic rock pencil was difficult. Main considerations included “Metallic black” and “Black Sabbath” but I opted for the album which was sold from afar by these two groups. AC DCThe famous 1980 epic is currently the second best-selling album in the world (behind the white-gloved one). With over 30 million sold I think the least we should do is give AC DC their own pencil. For those who are about to color – we salute you!
4.) “ALBUM BLANC BLANC” – Some might consider a white pencil to be a stretch, but Crayola has one in their product lines (not rock and roll). I mean if you color a sky with your “Led Zeppelin Gray” and you decide to add clouds, you will need a white pencil. Checking the name of one of the most famous double albums in history and that of the Beatles is a good idea – even if that album cover started getting dirty as soon as you stacked it in your record collection and started rubbing against other covers.
5.) “BETTER YELLOW LED” – You don’t need to know which song is about to have a color named after it. Even the guys from Pearl Jam are not so sure what the lyrics mean and Eddie Vedder himself has proposed some possible meanings. As one of the most famous non-LP tracks in rock history featuring Mike McCreadyThe impressive Stratocaster performance of “We Are Not Worthy!” Songs from all who listen to it, this song deserves its own pencil.
6.) “PURPLE MIST” – Crayola has a lot of choices when it comes to this shade. I would give it to Prince, but since we are focusing on classic rock, it will have to be part of the Funky pencil line (still in development). “Dark purple” seemed natural as a choice, but no one can deny the overwhelming power of the Seattle left-handed guitarist and the anthem that heralded the presence of the Jimi Hendrix Experience to so many people in America. However, it may be necessary to include a disclaimer with this color to prevent consumers from eating the pencil thinking a 1967 acid buzz could result.
7.) “ROSE FLOYD” – Another obvious choice that would help Crayola to sell its decision to launch a line of rock and roll pencils, because who does not know this English quartet which has sold 250 million albums and sometimes even got along well. The group’s reputation as a hallucinating space rock band is such that it would be even more important than “Violet mist” to add its own disclaimer, so people don’t “drop” the pencil to “go down” (not to mention the potential choking hazard)!
8.) “FRESH PUMPKIN LEMON” – This color would be an incredibly bright orange shade – less orange than a carrot, but more orange than an orange. It’s understood?
9.) “BLUE ROADHOUSE” – If you take a license and eliminate the “s” in the blueprints, there are six million potential “blue” pencil names. This 1970 song by Doors excellent double title Hotel Morrison / Hard Rock Café album, however, is our choice for Crayola to consider. Think about it – you can wake up in the morning, get yourself a beer, and go coloring – because the future is uncertain and the end is always near!
ten.) “RED ROCKER” – Since Montrose, Van Halen, and solo singer Sammy Hagar releases his second solo album Sammy Hagar in 1977, with his trademark song “Red”, he became known as “The Red Rocker.” All those years later he’s still here, outdoing singers half his age and even that other guy who helmed VH before him. The least we can do to honor his vocal cords would be to give his name to a pencil. Maybe we could dip each one in rum.
11.) “GREEN DAY” – Another obvious choice titled after one of America’s oldest rock trios. We would name the color after the senior American rock trio Top ZZ, but the closest thread I can find is Billy Gibbonsskill at making guacamole, so it’s a bit tenuous. “Green day” would be a brash lime undertone to match the assault and frontal demeanor of the namesake group, while citrus in a Corona or vodka-tonic infers the trio’s devilish demeanor. This would be the only pencil specially reinforced so that frantic artists wouldn’t cut them in half while coloring with punk-rock intensity!
12.) “EAT A PEACH” – Do you remember that Allman Brothers Band album cover? More people probably remember the inner sleeve with the mushrooms harvesting their hallucinogenic cultures. Regardless, the exterior was a subdued pink-orange which, for fans of Southern rock, was as iconic as the Led Zeppelin album cover that started it all. The 1972 double album featured the 30+ minute “Mountain Jam”; you can do a lot of coloring during this song!
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